Im going to begin writing on this screen everyday (sure, sure you will) because Ive got the delusion that no one will see but hey! Maybe someone will see it! goin & thats all the proper encouragment I require.
So today. Today I want to run away & become a farmer as inspired by my cousins jewish friend who woke up at six AM & slaughtered a lamb then cooked up & ate its kidneys with a nice refreshing alcoholic blend. Afterward he hung its head from his porch ao the blood could drain & he can later feast upon its brains. I mean can you even imagine a better cure for a hangover!? I cant tell you how much I wish I couldve woken up & just murdered the shit out of a lamb this morning. Which I guess when faced with the likes of reality would never really work. Cause one I dont get hangovers. Im an alcoholic. & two I could never murder the shit out of anything. Especially a lamb. I cant even eat lamb..I feel like Im eating puppies. Plus that last holiday before my grandmother passed away my cousins husband helped prepare lamb for dinner. It was the first holiday he’d ever been to & the last one we ever had. Both things I associate & contribute to her passing. I kind of want to compose a childrens picturebook for cousin about it. “Adam & the Lamb”. Maybe later.
& maybe I’ll never be a real farmer…but I wish I could stop the poison from bursting out of my veins all the time all over tje people I care for most. Its heavy. Its too heavy for me anyway & it pains me that I do that to them. Im a relationship farmer. I conduct my killings in the night & wake up Covered in spaghettios.
Man cousins jewish friend is a jerk.
Tumblr high five!